New Years Dissolutions

So, 2013 is finally here.  2012 was a year of some serious ups and downs for me.  I had my beautiful baby boy, Daniel, which obviously was a huge “up.”  I messed our taxes up and had to re-do them and pay extra money, down.  Being able to be on maternity leave for 3 months, up!  Not having any of my income for 3 months while I was on maternity leave putting us in a bit of a bind, down. 

All in all, I can honestly say that I am happy.  I love my life, my husband, kids, family, and job (mostly).

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So, I had originally resolved to not having a New Years’ Resolution, because how many resolutions are honestly kept for the year?  I’m still working on last year’s resolution to become more organized and I’ve never been quite so far from completing a goal as that one.  I took a step back and realized that I have way too many faults and short comings to not work on myself so I broke my first resolution of the year and came up with another resolution, to work on myself as a whole.

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First, a few things about me; I have a short temper.  I am zero to enraged in about .318423 seconds.  Tiny things set me off like opening the fridge and seeing only two drops of milk left in the gallon jug.  Or even just an annoying, highly repetitive, clicking sound that Darien subconsciously does all the time.  I’m like a cartoon character; you can see the red swiftly rising to the top as I blow my lid! So, that is now a top priority for me to work on this year; controlling my temper!! I’m thinking of taking up yoga or kickboxing, something that will allow me to release some built up steam without taking it out on those unsuspecting victims, oops I mean family and coworkers, around me. 

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I am the queen of holding grudges.  It’s ridiculous and juvenile, I know, but I can’t help it.  Oh you didn’t hold the door open for me, complete stranger, as I try to maneuver my kids and stroller and diaper bag into the tiny store opening? Well, you are now on my list!  A month later, if I see this person in the grocery store and I have $200 worth of groceries and he only has milk and gum, I will NOT let him get in front of me….serves him right as far as I’m concerned.  Ugh, I hate that I’m like this but it’s one of those things where my brain doesn’t allow the logical part of me to talk some sense into it.  I’m not sure how I’ll work on this one but I’m darn well gonna try my hardest!!

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I am downright unhealthy.  Okay so I don’t smoke and I only have the occasional drink (very occasional), but I LOVE to eat.  I love to cook big dinners and then I love to eat said dinners…and then possibly desert…and then a little more around 9 o’clock while sitting on the couch watching reruns.  Every night, dinner consists of a meat, a starch like pasta, potatoes, or rice, a veggie, and bread.  That is simply way too much and unfortunately, all the healthy alternatives I tried to substitute have sent my grocery budget spinning out of control.  On top of unhealthy eating habits, do you think I work out?? Nope, not at all but I want to, I really do!  If pure intention was a work out I’d be the perfect weight!  I’m lucky that I’m not bigger than I already am.  I’m hoping the kickboxing to help with my temper will also help with my weight.  Plus, I’m taking the steps to research and buy a treadmill!!! So yay me!

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I use my baby as a crutch.  I had Daniel 8 months ago and yet I continue to blame my pregnancy hormones or weight that I gained during that time.  I breastfeed him so I took that as a free pass to eat as much as I wanted…huge mistake.  The problem is, I felt/feel hungry all the time and I assumed it was because of the how many calories are burned while breastfeeding.  Well, I was right but I shouldn’t have abused it and now I’m sitting here overweight and unhappy with myself when I should be celebrating this wonderful time in my life.  So….I’m going to stop blaming Daniel for being emotional and chubby J It is my own fault and now that I’ve accepted that, I can get better!

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I’m not going to get too far ahead of myself on these resolutions but I think that 2013 will be the year of ME!! I’m going to love myself a little more and stop making excuses for myself.  Frankly, I’m getting on my own nerves so I know without a doubt I’m on everyone else’s…

So sure, I’m not perfect and I know I never will be but I love myself and my family enough to want to make things a little better.  We all have room to grow(or shrink as the case may be) to make our lives happier and healthier and I started my journey on Tuesday, January 1^st, 2013!!!

By the way, now that I’m trying to work on my temper, it seems that every annoying thing is the world is happening right next to me…this is certainly gonna be a long year!!

So, I want you to tell me what you’re going to do for YOURSELF this year.   Be honest and feel free to leave a word of encouragement for other moms (me) who are starting their very own almost impossible journey of New Year’s Resolution follow through!

Wish me luck everyone!!

Kristen B Riggan

Kristen.Riggan@hotmail.com

www.facebook.com/Kristen052