Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Marital Advice




Recently, I have been approached by several people who tell me how they see how madly in love with each other my husband and I are.  They seem almost in shock and awe of the fact that we rarely fight or that we still cuddle on the couch and hold hands.

I find this very sad.  Why is it such a shock that we “still” cuddle?  Still?  We’ve been married just under 3 years! I guess my question is when does the “newlywed love” or “honeymoon stage” wear off?  I can honestly say that yes, my husband and I still make out in the car and give each other sexy, smoldering looks from across a crowded room.  We actually find enough value in our relationship to WORK at it all the time.  It’s not something we just coast along and go with the flow and it’s definitely not something we’re willing to fail at.

Our first year of marriage was met with seemingly endless drama.  Maybe not the typical newlywed drama; jealous exes, child custody fights, and crazy family members seemed to come at us from all angles.  They wanted to break us. They wanted to hurt us and our family but the joke is on them because it only made us that much stronger!

To me, marriage is about being your husband or wife’s best friend, confidant, lover, and supporter just to name a few.  When couples forget what made them fall in love in the first place and get lazy in their marriage, they are dooming themselves to fail; it’s as simple as that.  I hear women talking crap about their husbands and constantly running them into the ground.  That’s where it starts.  I’m not saying you can’t joke around and be playful but I do NOT want to hear about how fat your man is or how bad his breath stinks everyday.  I think it’s totally disrespectful to him and it makes me very uncomfortable…ESPECIALLY when your man is right there listening!  All I can think about is how it makes him feel to be picked on in front of everybody.  It takes you back to your awkward teen years.

My husband isn’t perfect and neither am I but our relationship is pretty darn close. Sometimes I’ll write about Brian in my blog and poke a little fun at his snoring but I don’t constantly talk smack to the point where he develops a complex. 

I’d like to list a few of my favorite tips for all of you married folks out there who have forgotten why you got married in the first place.

  1. Always, always, always compliment the one you love.  It can be a very small unimportant thing but it’s sure to make them feel good! “You smell really sexy today!” or “I love that shirt on you, it makes your arms look so muscular!”  Silly things like that really go a long way!

  1. Touch!  Never underestimate the power of touch!  When you walk past him slap his butt or rub his back.  Why in the world wouldn’t you want to touch your husband?!?

  1. Tell them how much you appreciate them.  Brian never wonders if I appreciate him because I let him know! I appreciate how hard he words to provide for our family.  I appreciate that he comes home from work every day dirty and sweaty to make sure we have what we need.  Ladies, men NEED to feel like their hard work does not go unnoticed.

  1. Communicate.  If you’re upset with him, just tell him.  Don’t beat around the bush.  Don’t be immature and give him the silent treatment because you think he KNOWS WHAT HE DID!  They normally have no clue what they do to upset us.  We’re emotional creatures so how can we expect them to understand unless we tell them?

  1. Intimacy is still key.  I’m not saying get busy every night because that’s just flat out unrealistic.  What I’m saying is that there are other ways to be intimate besides sex!  Rub each others feet and hands with lotion.  Take a shower together and wash each others backs.  Take the time to actually hug each other.  It’s so important and you won’t realize it until it’s gone!


I know I know, I’ve only been married for a very short amount of time compared to many couples out there so what do I know, right? Wrong! Why wouldn’t anyone want to take advice from someone who is still in the honeymoon phase?  It is my goal to make sure Brian and I are ALWAYS in the honeymoon phase.  Despite bills, work, family drama, anything I will not lose my marriage to the trials and tribulations of every day life.  We have got to get back to the basics ladies and remember why you fell in love with your husband.  Just think about it and take my 5 tips and put them into action and I guarantee that if you both are willing to fight for your relationship, you can too get back to your honeymoon phase. 



Thanks for reading today!

Kristen Riggan
Madly in Love

Oh yea, check out my new website as a Scentsy Consultant, you’ll love it!!

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